As a child, I wanted to be a princess so badly. I know… every little girl wants to be a princess. But I mean I reeeeeally wanted to be a princess. I ached for it. In my mind, being a princess meant days filled with skipping around, singing songs, and playing dress up.

Okay, that’s pretty much what I did as a kid anyway. But still. I never had the tiara and servants to go with it.

In the Czech Republic, you can drive about half an hour in any direction and hit a castle. And though I wasn’t lucky enough grow up in a castle, I am lucky enough that when I jokingly invite ourselves on a road trip with new friends (who own a car), they say yes!

Honza driving. See him giving me the stink eye? Not everyone likes my camera.

So last weekend, Tasci, Honza, Dennis, and I set out to Křivoklát Castle, about half an hour west of Prague. I considered it a right of passage that I learned to pronounce Křivoklát. The “kři” kind of rhymes with “hershey,” only where you say “huh,” obviously say “kuh,” and where you say “ur,” make it a rolled r. So it’s a k, rolled r, and shuh sound all mushed together. Krshe-voklat. Got that?

Of course, this being a 900 year-old castle, we also had to fight our way past a dragon.

Wait for the village archer to eat a tomato out of his lap before his demonstration.

And hit all four gift shops.

(I think the bees want their candles back.)

Then we went on a tour. A few snapshots:

Tour guide, Michal. He was so excited to have his picture taken. He didn’t try to hide in his chin at all.

Me: Those are some big keys. Michal: Big castle, big keys.

Ooh! Handsome man at a castle! My childhood dream, come true.

How do you like dat knocker?

My favorite room of the tour, because of …

…these. Rumor has it these are by children from the 1800’s, when this room was used as a schoolhouse. When my mini-me’s hit the walls with crayons while I’m not looking, I hope they come up with something like this. In fact, I might just break out my Sienna crayola right now.

Fancy gate. That’s all.

Everyone but me inside a prison cell with only one tiny window. Prank time?

My Daddy don’t call me “Princess” for nuthin’. Okay, that’s exactly why. But don’t I look right at home?

And to end the day, lunch was something off this menu. I think the lunch specials were meat, meat, and more meat, with sides of potato dumplings and spinach mush.

Thanks, Honza and Tasci!